| I Suck |
[04 Apr 2007|06:04pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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Ty's Star Wars game |
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At writing. I used to be so good. So faithful.
Now.
Meh.
I'm too damn tired. Too damn restless. Too damn jumpy. And too damn spacey to remember.
Not a whole lot to report. Christmas came and went. San Antonio weekend in January came and went.
Work is work. I got a 6% raise (the highest, wheeeee) and a kick ass review. Which means, once my year is up (coming June 1), when I am eligible to transfer to a different position, I will have NO problem getting the one I want. Then it will be HELLO! telecommute and NO external customer contact and GOOD BYE! pissy agents and HP's. My office will be my glorious damn couch! And it pays $10 to $15K more. Because of my review, I am confident I will get this analyst position (that and I have the experience it requires.) Just got to wait for 1) June to get here and then 2) for another opening. The trend is every two or three months. Crossing my fingers...I WANT THIS ANALYST POSITION. My analyst position sucks ass and I'm about to go postal over the phone to the next agent who bitches about money being chargebacked. Ok, it sucks...but you lost the case, get the hell over it.
On a ++++++ note, K and I leave for Maui next Saturday. In a week and a half, we'll be out of the drear that is CT. And in less than two weeks time, we'll be married. Haha! Not like it's any different than it is now. We'll just legally be married. I got the dress (which will be on for a total of 2-3 hrs max), the beach location....4 guests (which is 4 more than we thought would be coming,) all that will be required is the sunset. Watch it freakin' rain that day.
Another note - We'll be moving OUT of CT after K's contract is up next year. Too damn expensive. I would like a little more bang for our buck. I feel like I"m throwing money away by living in this shithole. I love being able to visit NYC and Boston - and I love being closer to my mom....but that is not enough to make us stay here and throw decent salaries to the tax wolves. My mom can fly to see us and NYC and Boston will only be a plane ride away. Looks like it will be back to the midwest for us, unless something opens up that looks really good. And hey! I'll be a telecommuter by then so it won't matter where we go! (Yes, I am confident I will get the job I want once I am eligible to apply for it.)
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| Another Year Older But None The Wiser |
[27 Nov 2006|01:51am] |
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The hum of the computer |
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Tuesday came and went. Have to say, I don't feel any older. I'm not sure what age it stops feeling like a number or what age it picks back up again, if ever.
I gorged myself on free food, especially cake. The one day I let the dreaded diet slip into oblivion and stuffed myself to near exhaustion. I felt as if I deserved it, after the trainer session I had on Monday and all.
Thanksgiving came and passed. Much more free flowing and non-judgmental than last year, thankfully. Could be because it was spent with my easy going fam over the parties of the other half.
Today I set up the Christmas garb. Funny, I've never been one to get into the holiday spirit. Maybe being a parent has morphed me into one a bit, though. I did up a tree and put up lights and felt a sense of accomplishment. Just knowing it will put a smile on the two little boys faces makes me feel a wee bit mushy inside.
And now, the weekend is done. Back to work in a few hours. Back to the hell I so severely dread. Four full weeks until another four day weekend to forget about the drone of bore and pissy HP's and agents wondering WTF their money is at.
The writer's block is back in full force. I'm not sure if it ever left, but instead just took a short hiatus to make me *think* it was gone. Silly me for thinking that. It never goes away when I'm unhappy in some aspect of life. That aspect being work. I would look for a new job, except, I think very few new prospective employers would smile upon the fact that I need 10 days off come April plus another two in January. So I march on, with my days marked. Come April, a new search will begin for a better prospect.
Other than that, life has been cheery-oh. Counting down the time until life in the Northeast comes to a sweet, oh so sweet end.
Several regions are being looked at. Figures adding up in my head, numbers being crunched (after all, it is what I do), and the place will be determined way ahead of time.
I think I plan too much.
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| Sometimes, families suck |
[02 Nov 2006|08:56pm] |
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 pissed off |
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Commercials |
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I am this close to losing my sanity.
Work sucks.
The children are restless.
And Kyle's family sucks. Yes, they suck. They have pretty much disowned him because of me. That's right. They are anti-Lisa. They've met me twice. Well, his mother has been around me I think 5-8 times total. He finally told HER we were getting married. She went and aired the laundry to the rest of his family, who in turn got on Kyle's ass. I quote here: Have you lost your mind? What is the matter with you? Disappointed and terribly saddened.
Why they don't like me is beyond me. Considering they never got to know me. Apparently, his mom didn't like me from day one. Because I 'trapped' her son by having Alex. Oh yeah, that's rich.
They're all completely off their rockers. Not to mention delusional and judgmental.
I have two words.
Fuck them.
And that's pretty much what Kyle told them, too.
It pisses me off that they'd do that to him. Families aren't suppose to be like that. They're suppose to stand behind and support. Even if they think it's a mistake, it's not their life. It's his. And I've been in it for 4 yrs. The first time the majority met me, besides his mother, was LAST YEAR! Three times and I'm considered a bitch and somehow a gold digger (no clue where that came from considering I make more money than Kyle.) Whatthefuckever.
And it also hurts a bit, that people who barely know me, think that little of me. I mean, if people aren't going to like me, I want a legitimate reason. Not just make up your mind for whatever reason they based it on.
At least my fam is supportive. And ffs, at least with mine, we don't talk about others behind the backs, we go straight to the source and yell at them. But we don't judge. Not like that. And we certainly don't make a rash decision about someone for some bland reason.
People just suck and this confirms as to WHY I don't like that many people and WHY I don't let that many people into my life.
I don't need that type of shit.
On a HAPPIER note...
162 days until we leave for Maui. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Six Months! |
[16 Oct 2006|11:10pm] |
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 bouncy |
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music |
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Artillery (Saving Private Ryan) |
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Six months from tomorrow......and I will no longer be considered 'single' or just 'in a relationship'.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
And I am still not any closer to my goal, either. Time to step it up.
I did tonight...and my knee and back are KILLING ME!
Yay! Six months to go.
And to help break it up, we are going down to San Antonio in January so I can visit a very good friend (who I oddly met at the other place and has become one of my best friends.)
I'm excited!
Yay!
That is all.
My frog on crack is back!!
*Mwah*
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| Ever have this feeling? |
[05 Oct 2006|11:37pm] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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music |
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Leno |
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I feel so unsettled and bothered and I haven't a clue why.
And THAT also bothers me to no end.
I feel restless, depressed in a sense, and want a quick fix.
I want April to be here now, so I can go on vacation (and hopefully be able to fit into my wedding dress that is gloriously on display in my closet, in the size I want and hopefully will be in 6 months) and then after that....I want it to be a year later, so we can move.
Yes, we are moving....again. Somewhere more affordable to live and where the people aren't so, so....what's the word I'm looking for.....prickish.
Other than that...nothing to report. I am boring. Which is good, I don't think I can handle much excitement right about now. I already feel weird and wretched for some odd reason, no need to intensify it.
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| Life is..... |
[21 Sep 2006|11:44pm] |
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Leno |
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Yeah....I don't have a whole lot to say.
Life is ... well ... just life at the moment.
Had a short weekend jaunt to Boston last weekend. It was fun. It was relaxing. Blew a ton of money. Found a new favorite wine (I'll get to that in a minute.) Slept late, had a fantastic view of the city from the room. Nice getaway from the spawns.
The new favorite wine. Paringa. It's a sparkling Shiraz served chilled. So good I ordered a few bottles to keep in stock.
Work sucks. Not so much sucks as it is boring. I've been given the task of an extra responsibility at work. Hopefully, that will keep me a little bit more busy. Here's to hoping.
My book. I have severe writer's block. I have a total of eight freakin' pages. I'm going to be 50 before it's finished at this rate. Why oh why did I not save my other one to disk. I still kick myself over that. Ever since then, I have had a severe writer's block/depression. Shoot me now.
I need to go exercise....and then go to bed. One more day of hell and then the weekend fulfilled with wild spawns on rye.
205 days left (counting today) until we leave and 208 days left until the BIG Kahuna. Yes, I am counting down the days. I have no life. *Shrugs* What can I say.
If my days are off, blame Camel, he's the one who figured it (I'm already shifting blame...awwwwwe, I am so sweet.)
*Mwah* and hugs.
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| Confessions and Ramblings |
[13 Sep 2006|11:40pm] |
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exhausted |
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Seinfeld |
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What have I been up to?
Not a whole hell of a lot.
Then, where the hell have I been?
Around. I sneak on like a thief in the night, peeking in on blogs. Reading them, smiling at the words, nodding my head in agreement, oblivious to the fact that it's a computer screen and my actions can not be heard as I slip back into the shadows.
Truth of the matter is, I have no excuse.
I DO have a million and one things going on over in real lifeland, floating around excited about things, depressed over others, and just a bumble fuck of stress over the rest.
Over the past two weeks, I have lost track of time looking over endless items for the upcoming nuptials. Yes, I said nuptials. Which ties into me wanting to drop the 40 lbs of shamu fat that hangs (I will be quite honest, I swear on everything of my being, 20 lbs of that are my bewbs alone, ffs...these things are killer and should be outlawed at this size.) I need to fit into my dress and I want to look fab. Not only that, it's taking place on Maui, as is the honeymoon (which is why the vacation is so much more than a vacation.)
Anyways, on with the show.
I've lost track of time looking at pictures, locations, booking the packages, and then looking at the accommodations we booked at. Endless. And making myself impatient as hell.
Next, my job. Damn, I hate my job. I mean, I REALLY hate it. Yet, apparently I am great at it. I got a GREAT review on Monday about what an awesome job I am doing. And my so-called email etiquette is the shit, so much so my boss brags about it.
Now, that is good news. At least I am not in danger of losing the job. And I do like the people and my boss is great. The job though...lord, help me now. It is super boring and I'm done with my work in over half the time it takes most people. So, in turn, I sit at my desk trying to look busy when in fact....I'm two shakes away from sitting there with my thumb up my ass whistling dixie.
All I have to hang onto is the little light at the end of the tunnel. When I KNOW I can quit and move on to greener pastures better suited for myself and my interests.
Stress. Where does the stress come in?
School. I wave a big middle finger at the 4 classes I took on this semester. Physics, Environmental Technical Writing, World History, and Oceanography. All interesting, but all time consuming. So much reading. Some so interesting it will make one glassy eyed and bumbling like the village idiot. Lost in their own mind in the sea of knowledge. Knowledge overload.
Not enough hrs in the day to work, sleep, read, eat, take care of spawnions, and all that jazz all the while hanging onto the little sanity I have left.
And what comes to mine is the Seinfeld episode....and the one line.....
Serenity now......
Insanity later.
P.S.
How can that fucking frog jump when it's exhausted. Freaky froggy fucker.
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| In reference to the prior post |
[05 Sep 2006|12:50am] |
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excited |
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The hum of the dishwasher |
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I have figured it out! What I need to use this journal for. Well, not all the time....but a part of it anyways.
This journal will be part of the public journey of my weight loss. Once a week, I will update my progress. I will have a public record of my ups and downs. Of my own goals and the times I need to kick myself in my ass when I slip up.
For me, this is balls. I say that because this has been a very private affair for me. The past two years have been hell on my body and now that it is FINALLY back to normal, I can start doing something to get back to my size I love.
So, start date:
September 3, 2006.
Target end date:
April 2007.
Reason:
Vacation that is so much more than a vacation and overall health and wellness (but I admit, it is so much a vanity issue right now due to the event I have......the health and wellness is an added bonus.)
Starting weight:
That, my friends, is still private right now. I don't have that big of balls right now. You can see the pic in the post below...which by all means isn't terrible....I just have my own personal agenda and reason. The goal is around 40 lbs lost, to get me back to where I was 2 years ago.
Regimen to start:
Consume around 1500-1700 calories per day to stay in target health zone. Eat healthier, eliminate soda (haha, that will be a process). More fruits, veggies, and whole grains. Proteins upped, fats and bad carbs down.
60 minutes of Cardio per day, 6 days a week PLUS 3 days a week of strength conditioning.
And the saga begins.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I'm excited about this. And I KNOW I can do this. Dammit, I will do this. No ifs ands or buts about it.
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| I need to lose some ass |
[04 Sep 2006|01:42am] |
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The sound of silence...it's a beautiful thing. |
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And that is no joke. I never kid about ass.
Over the past year, I have let myself slip a bit. The year before that, I had major hormonal problems brought on by the kindness of my own heart (I donated my eggs.) The combination of it all has left me 40 lbs above where I WANT to be (which is still considered a healthy weight for someone my height.)
With all the circle talking I just typed, I need to lose 40 lbs by April. Preferable, before April. I need to be back down to the size I had been when I got preggers with my second son and the weight I was at AFTER I had his demonic self. AND I need to tone up. I need the toning up more than I do the lossage of ass.
I am going on my vacation that is so much more than a vacation in April with the body I miss.
I bought my motivation. I need to fit in it when the time comes. I didn't spend that kind of money to leave it hanging in my closest when I pack 7 months from now.
I will do it. I refuse to waiver. I started the regimen today. And hell, do I feel it.
Wish me luck in my endeavors. I never had to work at losing weight (I remember once upon a time I had to work at it to put ON weight....ahhh, the glory days.) I need all the luck and well wishing I can get.
*Mwah* and hugs.
This weight loss thing is also something I am doing for ME, not for anyone. My source is biased and thinks I look fab the way I am. BUT, my own personal agenda is I know I can look better.
My most recent pic....jumping around like an idiot to 80's music in my living a few weeks ago...wheeeeee.
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| I'm such an impatient lil'....*ahem* |
[31 Aug 2006|07:48pm] |
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The hum of the dishwasher |
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I hate waiting.
Now, I am fully aware we all must wait for things. After all, good things come to those who wait.
But DAMN....I hate the wait.
I have to wait to start a new career path. Wait for my weekend in Boston in two weeks.
And I have to wait for.....
April 17th. Well, the whole week from April 14th through 22nd. Our BIG vacation away from it all.
But definitely April 17th.
That is the day.
The day for what??
My secret.....
I will be sipping mai tais on the beach, without a care or worry. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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| Time for a change |
[28 Aug 2006|12:36am] |
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Umm, none....silence. |
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Lately, I have been supur uber depressed about my job.
I couldn't place my finger on it, I just HATED getting up in the morning and going in. I have been near tears for roughly two weeks.
After talking about it with K. (the Camel to those in the know), I have come to the conclusion that I do not like working corporate. I'm not an office, suity suit, behind a desk in front of a computer for 8 hrs a day...punching numbers, pushing paper, and listening to several bosses drone on about goals and missions that will NEVER be accomplished.
I can't do accounting. I find it dreadfully boring and the thought of a life time of it depresses me to a point of non-recognition.
Sooooooo.....
What am I going to do about????
Next fall I will be switching my major. I am changing my course of study. I've actually wanted to do it for years but have never been able to do to the fact that I have to concentrate full time day hrs on it and work would have to be bypassed for a few years due to the intensity of the program.
BUT, after negotions with K., we are going to catch up this year and next fall....we will work it out so I can do it.
His words and I quote - 'If this is what will make you happy and feel fulfilled, we will work something out so you CAN do it.'
Out with the corporate BS and dressing up and feeling like a robot...
I'm off to be an RT (Respiratory Therapy for those who didn't know what RT stood for), dammit!
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| What's in a name anyways? |
[25 Aug 2006|07:07pm] |
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Pooh's Heffalump music in the background, oh boy!! |
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I have crossed over into yet another blog. Blog #5 for me. This is the second one today I have created.
I'm getting blogified. I will be blogged out by years end. Fanbloggytastic.
I have ventured to livejournal via a friend from another site. He's trying to organzie a small (or large) blog gathering of bloggers and start an uprising over here.
I thought, what the hell? Why not.
Anywho, as I was creating my nickname....I was denied!! The name -Jadey- was already in use.
Say it isn't so?
It is so, so I have now become Jadeyfi, whatever the hell that means.
What's in a name anyways?
I'm here. I dout anything I write will make an ounce of sense. But that's ok. None of my other blogs do, either. I barely make sense at my job.
I have some spawns to go trade.
P.S. If my spelling sucks....get over it. I'm too lazy to care about spelling right now.
P.P.S. Honestly, I'm usually not so bitchy. Work sucks and is dragging me down.
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